The first day I left Capone at daycare was rough, but this morning I had to dump 40+ ounces of breastmilk down the drain and I think that was worse. If you breastfeed and work, a back-up milk supply is precious. On any given day, we have about 40-50 ounces of breast milk in our freezer. I bag it and label it and put it in our milk organizer. I’m paranoid if our back-up supply drops below 40 oz.
Every morning, I pull out 12 ounces, put it in Capone’s lunchbox for daycare, and slide the organizer back in the freezer. Every morning except today. Today, I took out the organizer, packed Capone’s bag, but did not put the rest of the milk back in the freezer. I just walked in the kitchen and discovered all of our entire backup supply defrosting on the kitchen counter.* This morning I don’t have to go to work, but Capone was still going to daycare. So our morning was less rushed. We weren’t running late. I wasn’t running around like usual. I just was distracted and threw away priceless milk. I’m mad at myself for not double checking. I’m mad at myself for letting my milk supply drop at little during these last few stressful weeks. I can’t believe that I could just walk away with 40 ounces of milk defrosting on top of the stove.
I cried. I think I cried more then when I dropped Capone off at daycare that first day. The people who say it’s not worth crying over spilled defrosted milk, clearly never breastfed. I guess I will be spending my Christmas break pumping and checking the freezer every 20 seconds to make sure I put the milk away.
*technically, it wasn’t our entire supply. 1 rogue bag was still in the freezer and we keep an extra bag at daycare for emergencies.
