At least once a day, someone asks me some variation of “Does Capone sleep through the night yet?” I recognize that in most cases this is a case of “I don’t know what to say, so I’ll ask the million dollar question.” Nevertheless, I’m torn about how to answer this question.
Do I say? Last night was horrible. It was a series of very unsuccessful naps. I’ve said this very thing on Twitter. When I do say this, sometimes I get a empathetic response, sometimes I get a “oh, my baby was sleeping through the night at 2 months” response.
I sometimes lie and say “yes.” I’m usually still greeted with the baby who slept all night at 2 months.
Capone slept through the night at 2 months (7 weeks to be exact). He slept wonderfully until 6 months and then it stopped. Does that mean he doesn’t sleep through the night anymore? Are we out of the club? Did everyone else’s baby keep sleeping?
Honestly sleeping is like playing the lottery in this house. He doesn’t sleep through the night on a regular basis. It’s a crap shoot. If he’s not teething or sick or trying to learn a new skill, he sleeps through the night. But the teething, sick, learning a new skill days out number the other days. Does that mean he’s not a good sleeper anymore?
My major resistance to this question is that we are very anti-”cry-it-out” (CIO). I can tell you the reason Capone has woken up every night since he was 6 months old. Never once have I thought that his night wakings were the result of his inability to soothe himself. He’s had bellyache, he’s cut 4 teeth at once, he’s had a cold. I don’t enjoy being up all night, but I know why we’re up all night. When he’s up all night, he up all night whether he’s in our bed or in his crib.
When you’re 9 months old and you chew on everything and you cut teeth at light speed, you don’t sleep “all night” very often. Does that mean my child isn’t a good sleeper? In my mind, it means that he is a baby. I don’t sleep 12 hours without waking. I especially don’t sleep that when I’m sick or worried about something. I wouldn’t expect him to.
Does he sleep all night? How is he sleeping? How was last night? These are all the wrong questions. Capone has slept through the night, but right now he’s trying to learn how to crawl, adding new sounds/words, waving bye-by, and learning other new skills everyday. He’s not regressed to waking 27.2 times per night, he’s just a different stage. These questions all assume that once a baby sleeps all night he/she should continue to do so. That’s not logical.
So does he sleep all night? Yes (on a good night). Do I want him to sleep? Yes, we’re all happier when he does? Do I expect him to wake up at night? Yes, because right now that’s what he needs. When he needs to sleep all night he does and when he needs to be up for extra feedings or a wiped nose or to be reoriented in his bed, he wakes up. I’m okay with that.